Goodbye For Now
My dear friend David Jacobs Strain wrote a wonderful song entitled; “Goodbye For Now.” It echoes exactly how I feel. The farm lost a precious member of the herd a few days ago. Our beloved Snickers, healer to many and the first of my horses as I returned to a life with horses–was put down due to illness and old age. He came into my life 28 years ago, a gift from my Dad down in Florida. My sister had found him for me, and shortly after that, he made his way up to me. He was so magnificent, that when he came off the trailer, I just sobbed. His very rare grulla color, along with his conformation and temperament, made him a phenomenal horse. To this day, I STILL carry a picture of him as he was loaded in the trailer in Florida, for the long trip up north. At the time, I was going through some challenges, and spending time with him was a true gift, the benefit which I never fully realized at the time. I showed him locally, and we did quite well.
After about 2 years, I sold him to a girlfriend. She kept him for years, until she became pregnant. At that time, he went to live with Janelle, my daughter Sharon’s best friend. Janelle had an amazing 3 day eventing career with him. Eventually, Janelle went off to college and placed Snickers with a friend. At this point, he was about 23 years old.
Tragically, Janelle lost her battle with cancer a few months ago. Her absence leaves a void for all who knew her, especially her husband and her one year old daughter.
When Snickers was around 27, he came back to me, to his forever home. While senior horses necessitate special care, waking up to him every day was a gift. You see, my father was no longer alive, but I had Snickers, the horse he gave to me way back when.
And, the life he lead the past 4 years was nothing short of miraculous. COUNTLESS, and I mean countless people have experienced changed lives due to his presence in the ever popular “Horse Circles.” His ability to hone in on what someone needed, and then to offer his calm presence was a gift that many experienced. He was the first horse featured in my first TEDX Talk, and the first horse featured in my second TEDX Talk. He was featured in magazines (America’s Horse) and was the topic of numerous radio shows and podcasts.
I cannot even think about my loss of Snickers, without realizing how profoundly he affected others. Yes, he was the first one who started it all for me as an adult. Caring for him, especially towards the end, was rather hard, as it was clear he was beginning to falter. That was a lot of pressure for me, and I am grateful that he is no longer suffering.
Snickers is gone. It leaves me with an ache. Out of that ache, is his message, what he tried to leave me with.
Presence. And love. Always, always love. I will always have that as I think about Snickers. May we all have that as we think about Snickers.