Summer Musings

Summer Musings

Horses do not care what degree you have, or how much money you have. Horses care that you show up for them.

The world gives us so much pain and here you are making gold out of it. There is nothing purer than that. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

Two sayings which strongly resonant with me. When I read something like that, I like to write it down and mull it over for awhile. I actually have a spot on my phone where I keep all sorts of little bits of wisdom. If I am waiting for an appointment, or have a lull in my day, I like to scroll through and be reminded of all sorts of things like being present with horses, as well as to ourselves.
Being present with the horses is something I do often. At least twice a day, to be exact!! Being present to myself, on the other hand is more challenging.

Bradley Pic, Viton and I

Offering self care has been quite a journey and process for me. I have moved to the place where I am kinder with myself. Removing the lens of self judgement has been a long time in coming, but I am so glad-as they say, “better late than never!”
One of the more challenging aspects of my life has been my draw, my addiction to sugar. Along with being a diabetic (thanks Mom and Dad, for the gift that keeps on giving!) this disease and its accompanying medications actually make you want sugar more…That is one of the effects of it. Refined sugars and carbohydrates are exactly what I need to avoid. And, through the years, I have had success in doing that. However, recently, I have found myself unable to resist. I actually would find myself walking around the house and not just feeling hungry, but it was as if my body just wanted, something! I know what emotional eating is, but this was different. It was almost a physical, visceral reaction. That, coupled with an appointment with my endocrinologist spurred me to look deeper. His desire is to keep me as healthy as possible. He wanted to get my blood sugar levels lowered. So, he felt that increasing my insulin, when needed was the answer.
So–bear with me here. The professional, who I respect, is suggesting that I actually INCREASE my insulin, which also increases my appetite and the accompanying weight gain.
I just knew there was another answer. I strongly felt that more medication was not the route for me. What I did need was awareness. And, that is exactly what happened! My doctor’s recommendation to increase my insulin before consuming carbohydrates and sugars actually caused me to STOP. And think. And pause. Becoming aware was what is needed, NOT to increase my medication. What a gift that is! So, for today, I have a plan. I offer myself exquisite self care. I notice and pause-similar to when the horses linger. I am aware, and day after day, I am making proper choices. I am offering love and self care by removing certain foods from my food plan.
Life is not perfect. Sometimes I choose a less than stellar item to eat. But, for the most part, one day at a time, I am noticing. I am choosing. I am grateful.
What in YOUR life do you need to notice? Where can awareness aid you, in a kind and gentle manner, to alter choices you are making? We would like to hear! Better yet, come on out to the farm for one of our horse circles and bring that insight to the horses and their wisdom!

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